I'm Sneaking Around

Problems.

• Temp: sergio, I don't think anyone gets how fucking emo this whole Amanda situation is making me
• Temp: if I had a gun, I would have shot myself by now
• Sergio: no way...really it cant be that bad
• Temp: if I had a sega saturn gun, I would have cancer EVERYWHERE right now
• Sergio: lol
• Temp: it is that bad
• Sergio: dont take it soo hard i know it really suxs right now but later youll feel better and look back on this as a just a waste of time.
• Temp: see, nobody gets it
• Temp: I spoke with her father yesterday and he gave me the same bs that her and everyone else has been giving me
• Sergio: well tell me then
• Temp: "things change, you'll get over it, you're young, blah blah blah"
• Temp: All i've done, since April, is work on getting out to California to be with her
• Temp: I've sold everything i've owned
• Temp: i've bough a fucking car (something I swore i'd never do and for obviously good reasons)
• Temp: I've retooled my life
• Temp: I was going to move to a new state out of the blue
• Temp: all the while, we were in close contact the entire time we were separated
• Temp: I got love messages THE DAY BEFORE she decided to end it
• Temp: she left no clues
• Temp: didn't discuss anything
• Temp: and then decided to completely and utterly ignore me
• Temp: as if I was dead
• Temp: she won't accept phone calls, text messages, e-mails, voice mails, letters
• Temp: I can't even get her a message via a 3rd party
• Temp: all for no apparent reason to me
• Temp: she hates me, because I love her
• Temp: it's so utterly fucking heartbreaking
• Temp: and baffling
• Temp: it's killing me every hour i'm awake
• Temp: I can't think of anything else
• Temp: i've tried everything I possibly could to get back on her good side and it doesn't work
• Temp: We're broken up for no reason, and she won't even speak to me
• Temp: even though we were on 100% good terms
• Temp: i've never hit her
• Temp: i've never threatened her
• Temp: all i've done is help her, love her
• Temp: and out of nowhere, I get completely fucked over
• Temp: without a reason
• Temp: and without any further contact
• Sergio: well we know something happened. and you made sacrefices for her. thats what love does you make alot of sacrafices for the one you love. do you think i would have still been here if it wasnt for tracee? you me and ben and prolly gilbert would have been long gone if it wasnt for her. even tough she put me through hell, cheated on me and worried me i loved her enough to stay and help her. its incredibly foolish but i did it.I know how you feel to be fucked over. you help her you l;ove her and she betrays you in a way thats seems unfogivable and without reason. even though she tells you she loves you you cant figure out why all this has happened.
• Sergio: i know its hard and iu neve offically got over tracee obviously. and if anything were to happen to her i dont know what id do. i guess i would just try to live without her. but you should always try to live first
• Temp: therein lies my second big problem
• Temp: I have nothing
• Temp: period
• Temp: I have a sweet Macbook Pro
• Temp: and nothing else
• Temp: no possessions, no prospects, I live with my mother, I have a car that is a lemon
• Temp: I've been focusing for almost half a year on getting out of state to be with my girlfriend
• Temp: and now
• Temp: what the fuck am I supposed to do
• Temp: remember what I always said about making plans?
• Temp: how I don't do it because everytime I do, they just blowup in my face
• Temp: this is a perfect example