Options
I officially have absolutely no idea what the fuck i’m doing with my life. I’ve become so freakishly obsessed with my now ex-girlfriend that it’s driving me FUCKING INSANE. I literally can’t function anymore. I might be able to tear myself away from thinking about her and everything that’s happened for an hour at most but then I start the downward spiral back into thinking about how shitty the whole situation is for hours on end.
I want to just run away from everything, everyone, become homeless, forget about working, forget about even trying to function in a normal human life. It would show her just how fucking crazy she’s driven me, it’d make her feel pain and regret as I have. I just can’t stand that a woman i’ve loved so much could flip a switch one day and decide that I have absolutely no worth to her. Not only doesn’t she want to date me, but she won’t explain why, and now she’s ignoring me at every turn. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate her for it, I just want to fucking end everything. I’d rather have a bullet between the eyes than have to deal with this fucking stupid bullshit. If I had known that i’d be left like this I wouldn’t have even bothered. A year and half of happiness with her isn’t worth the fucking shit i’m going through now. I can’t stand it, my mind is lost, I want to fucking kill myself.
I want to be a better person, I want to have a better life, I want to one-up her and show what her what a fucking mistake leaving me is, but it’s so much easier to just end it all, to run away from everything.
I love you so much Amanda Marie Affrunti and all I have ever asked is that you reciprocate that but apparently it’s just too much to ask. I hate you Amanda Marie Affrunti, you’ve completely sidetracked my life to no ones benefit and for a completely unknown amount of time.
